30 Things My Kid Should Know About Me: Number 24

What are your favorite and least favorite things about parenthood?

(I'm sure no one else will notice this, but I changed the post question so that it was grammatically correct. I'm a little OCD.)

I've only been a parent for nine months so I can only speak to the experiences so far and I know there is a lot still to come and this answer may change in the years to come.

My favorite things (yes, I'm cheating and making it more than one) about being a parent are:

• I love seeing your reaction when I walk into the room. You smile and sometimes squeal when you see me. It is the most amazing thing!
• I love hearing you laugh. Your laugh is incredible and it always makes me smile and usually makes me laugh until I cry.
• I love when you snuggle in with me, especially since you aren't much of a snuggler yet. You will snuggle when you're sleepy, either because you are ready to go to bed or you just woke up and are still sleepy. You are a warm snuggly cuddlebug and it makes me smile.
• I love seeing your dad and you together. Your relationship is still developing and growing, but watching you two together warms my heart. Your dad will tell you that you didn't always like him at this stage, but I disagree. You two are a lot alike and will definitely butt heads throughout your lives. However, your dad loves you so much and is so great with you.
• I love playing with you in our bed when we get up on weekend mornings. We spent 30 minutes to an hour playing in bed as a family. Usually you are crawling all over, spitting and climbing, but it is one of my favorite parts of every weekend.

My least favorite things (cheating again) about being a parent are:

• I don't like it when you aren't feeling good and I can't do anything about it. I think you inherited my allergies and it makes sleeping difficult for you at times and I can't do much to help you. You are too young for medicine and when your nose is so stuffed up, I just wish I could do something.
• I don't like it when you act like you aren't feeling good and I don't know why so I can't help. Yes, there is a theme here. I always want to make you feel better when you don't and it frustrates me when I can't.
• I don't like it when you wake up in the middle of the night and don't go right back to sleep. I'm learning to live with less sleep, but I still love my sleep. I will always get up to take care of you and don't have a problem with it. It's just not my favorite thing.
• I don't like it when you cry when I leave you at daycare. I know it's the only option and that it is good for you to spend some time with other kids. I know that it's good for me to have my job that I love and that I wasn't made to be a stay at home mom. I know that you are fine within minutes of me leaving because the ladies at daycare take wonderful care of you and you have a good time. However, it makes my heart hurt when I have to leave you when you are crying.
• I don't like when I get insecure about my ability to be a good mom to you. This happens mostly when I'm tired or stressed about other things. I know that I do a good job taking care of you, but I struggle with insecurity and always want to be the best mommy I can for you. Sometimes that leads to me doubting myself, but it happens less and less.

After nine months, those are my favorite and least favorite things about being a parent. The favorite things most assuredly outweigh the least favorite. I really love being your mom and just want to take care of you the best I can.

30 Things My Kid Should Know About Me: Number 19

How did you feel the moment you became a parent?

I've talked about how I felt the moment I realize that I was pregnant, but I wanted to save this one until I actually became a parent.

So December 2, 2013, is that day. We had a scheduled c-section, which means I wasn't surprised that you were coming that day. I did kind of hate that my c-section was scheduled for 5 pm, which meant I sat around all day without much of anything to do and not being able to eat or drink anything from about 8 am on. I was on pins and needles and couldn't think about anything but you.

At 3 pm, we headed to the hospital and I was a nervous wreck. My previous experience with surgery wasn't much fun, though this time was extremely different. I was going through this surgery to get you, not to have something that wasn't working removed. We went through the check in process and got into our labor and delivery room. I got into a hospital gown and they hooked me up to all sorts of things. Then we hung out in the room. I think your nana and grandpa came in to visit with us, but honestly everything before the c-section is a bit of a blur. We went to the delivery room and I met all the people who would be a part of the delivery. I was incredibly grateful to see a familiar face. Janet Miller, mom of one of my friends, was my nurse anesthetist, so I knew someone in the room. We did the spinal block without too much problem. Soon after that, Dr. Cox showed up and the show was on the road. I didn't feel much of the procedure, which is the way it's supposed to be. After about 25 minutes, they put you under a heating lamp to my right and started to check you out. You had to be encouraged to cry as you weren't necessarily jazzed to be outside and have people poking around on you. I started to cry the minute I saw you and asked your dad if you were okay. I wanted more than anything to know that you were all right. When the nurses told us that you were okay, I was so relieved and think I started crying again. I don't remember anything else from the c-section except that your dad and I held hands and I couldn't stop staring at you.

When they gave you to me, I felt my heart actually ache with how much I loved you. Sadly, shortly after that, my stomach decided that I didn't need any peaceful relaxing time with you and I started throwing up everything in my stomach...which wasn't much, but boy did I give it my full effort. I held you close and wanted you to feel my love and not notice anything else, which I know you didn't because you had a lot to absorb with just joining the world and all. Through everything, I couldn't believe that such a gorgeous, amazing little girl was healthy and didn't have to spend any time in the NICU and that you were ours.

Those were the recurring themes in my head over the next several days: this precious bundle really is ours and oh my goodness, I love her so much. No matter what else was going on, those thoughts were always running through my head and heart. Those thoughts have been a part of every day since you were born. It doesn't matter whether you are being an angel or not so much, I always love you and am amazed that you are ours. Whether I'm sick or you're sick, whether you are being stubborn like me or stubborn like your father, whether you are happy or mad, I always know that I love you and am grateful for you...though honestly there are times I'm more grateful than others, I am always glad you are my daughter.

So that's how I felt the moment I became a parent and how I have felt every day since. You are a precious gift for me and I love you lots!